From There to Here

Seven months ago, Cason was born. Best Boxing Day EVER!
Since then, he's had almost four teeth come in, started solid food, said "mama" and "dada". He's rolling and crawling, holding his own bottle and growing at a rate that blows my mind.

Within the first minute of 2010, I had registered myself for the Canadian Death Race.
February 15 was my very first run. Clocked in at a whopping 19 minutes. A hard 19 minutes at that.
I've gone from running 19 minutes around the block, to running 21 km's of trail. From knowing very little about this "sport" to reading about different techniques weekly.
Now, I'm 5 sleeps away from calling myself a "Death Racer". One week away from finishing what I started. 6 days from completing the biggest personal goal I've ever set.
I'm nervous and excited. My mental game is starting to crack with anticipation. It's hard to focus on anything for any amount of time. I've got lists all over the place, gear, food, training logs. Now I just need to slow down, let my body do what I've trained it to do.

"The mind is the limit. We know that it is not the body. As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it- as long as you really believe 100%. It’s all mind over matter."

Go like hell.

Conversations with Kiara

Me:"Kiara, we can't sit on people."
Kiara:"Don't sit on Teiryn mom?"
Me:"You can't sit on Teiryn or Cason. You can't sit on anyone. You could hurt them."
Kiara:"Only adults mom?"
Me:"Yes, you can sit on adults."
Kiara:"And rabbits mom? Sit on rabbits?"
Me:"Noooo, I don't think that's a good idea either. Only adults."
Kiara:"Rattles?"
Me:"No rattles."
Kiara:"Maybe next time? Maybe later?"
Me:"No"
Kiara:"Maybe go for a drive and see the rattles later mom?"
Me:"Um, maybe not?"
Kiara:"Ok"

Scared of the Dark

I'm scared of the dark.
And the wilderness.
I have no idea what possessed me to run SOLO at 11:30pm on a Friday night.
Clearly, I am not normal.
I will be finishing Leg 4 in the dark. The wee morning hours. So, natch, I want to get in a few night runs. Plus I did some reading on the subject and people warned of getting motion sickness when running with the headlamp. This didn't even occur to me.
I'm also scared of puking.
I was excited all day. Until about 10:45. Then the nerves kicked in. And I tried to come up with a good reason not to. Unforch, 38 km's over a mountain in 20 some days kept winning. Balls.
Only car in the lot. Good? Bad? Nervous. Set out up the first hill.
"Ok. I can do this."
A CRAZY storm had just past and everything was wet, muddy, felt like running on water covered plastic but that's what poles are for right? Thought I heard strange noises at the top. Stopped. Looked around. Got my RUN on. I had an idea running scared would increase my speed.
I was doing it!
Running in the dark!
In the wilderness!
And not being eaten!
Awesome!
Heard it again. Now I'm freaked out. There's got to be someone behind me. I can't see the parking lot.
"What if they've been waiting the whole night for some stupid girl to come out here by herself?! WHAT IF I'M THAT GIRL!?"
Know what it was? The massive power lines above me. When nothing else is going on, they make strange noises that I'm not used to. Lames mcplanes.
Running with the headlamp wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'll try it next time without a hat. Those 2 feet right in front of you make a difference.
I was super tense. My toe hurt. (Cause I broke it. Sweet.) And I was SCARED. Did not want to be out there by myself. Plus, I decided it was dangerous. All muddy and stuff. So I bailed. Headed home after 20 minutes. Turned right around and booked it through a field cause I heard a noise.
"Fuck THIS!"
I was out.
So glad I'm not doing Leg 5. So. Glad.

Conversations with Kiara

Me:"Kiara, do you know that I love you more than there is water in the ocean? I love you bigger than mountains!"
Kiara:"Rocks mom?"
Me:"I love you more than there are rocks in the WORLD!"
Kiara:"Yep. Two rocks."

What am I doing?!

Last night we gave Cason his first round of "real" food.

It's been a pretty rough couple of days around here so I had the secret intention of it helping him sleep. Lord knows I like to keep my babies babies as long as possible. Alas, it failed. Well the sleep part anyway. Cason LOVED his sweet potatoes. Grabbed the spoon right out of my hand! His motor skills are so much more developed then Kiara's were at this point.



Decided to forgo training last night so I could get some sleep.
Here's how that went down:

Stayed up until 10:30, barely, nursing Cason "one more time". Went to bed.
Got Cason at 11.
Put him back in the crib around 1.
Got him at 2.
Put him back in the crib around 3.
Got him at 3:30.
Kiara woke up at 4.
I got back to bed around 5.
Kiara wakes up for the day at 7:15.
So much for a night of sleep.