Staying Pos(itive)

Ran today. Didn't want to. So many reasons not to. Like washing my hair and re lacing my tennis shoes. God I love tennis.

My legs hurt.

My will power hurts.

But not my soul, yet.

For the first time ever, I had to stop and walk. I felt like I was running in wet concrete. Only a block and a half, but I felt like a complete failure. Shitty deal. Added a minute overall to my run time. Good right? So why don't I feel good?

I have such a problem "looking on the bright side". When in the right frame of mind I remind myself, "I have enough, I do enough, I am enough." That mindset hasn't been around much lately. Instead I hear, "Not strong enough, not fast enough, not focused enough. Just not enough." Tips on shutting off this ugly voice?
I know I focus on the darker side of life. The longer I look, the uglier things get. You always find what you're looking for. Actually, I think you always find what you expect. I may look for good things, try to see the silver lining, but I expect the bottom to fall out. As long as I hold that expectation, it happens every time, to some degree. If only my rational brain was in control all of the time. I'd be perfect!
Just need to focus on the pos. At least I ran today. I added a minute to my time. I'm moving in the right direction. I'm doing good for me in my life. P.I.N.D.Y.